Why Me?

So many times in my 48 years, I have felt the need to ask "Why Me?"  When most people ask this question, it is usually related to unfortunate circumstances; for me it is the opposite.  Several years ago, as I was lying awake in bed counting my blessings instead of sheep, the question arose in a very specific way; Why Me?  Why was I chosen to live this extraordinary life?  Why, among all the people of the world, was I born into a stable family with two loving parents?  Why was I given the opportunity for a healthy childhood?  Why was I allowed to be raised in America, where my education was freely available?  The list goes on and on.

Each day when I rise, I face another day that I don't have to shake the dust from my only set of clothes, beg for my daily bread, search for clean water, or labor for long hours for little to no wages.  I don't have to wonder if my children are safe, or if my husband will return sober or drunk.  I don't need to hide my faith, pray in secret or wonder if today is the day someone bring help to my Christ-less existence.

That night so long ago, when I was asking God "Why Me?" I received a very clear, nearly audible response.  It was quite possibly the clearest message I have ever heard from God.  He told me, "With great privilege comes great responsibility."  That was it...nothing more.  You see, it isn't because I am more loved by God that I have been placed in this position; it is because of His great love for a lost world.  I need to remind myself of that truth daily.

I am blessed, not so I can enjoy the fruits of God's blessings, but so that I may be a channel to provide blessing for others.  I have been given the resources to be a blessing to others; not just in physical needs, but in so many other ways...edification, encouragement, prayer....

Today as I travel this privileged path, it is my prayer that none of God's blessings TO me with stop WITH me. If I can't pass it on, what good will it be to me?

Blessings!

Processing......

I am, I have learned through my education classes, an external processor.  External processors tend to verbalize while they process thought.  They are usually the first to answer questions in class…because the internal processors are still formulating what they intend to say…and tend (gasp) to dominate the conversation if they are not aware of the disadvantages to their learning style.  An external processor is more prone to speak before the thought is complete ..(!!!)…is this why my mouth gets me in trouble?

My husband is an internal processor…a VERY internal processor!  This really used to frustrate me early in our marriage.  Internal processors (at least in this case) are very hard to argue with.  How does one argue with a person who thinks out everything they want to say?  By the time the response is given, the heat of the moment has passed and, at least generally speaking, reason begins to seep into the conversation.  In the presence of reason and calm, passion and anger don’t have a chance.  I was fortunate to learn this very early, and now rational discussion takes the place of argument on the rare occasion we actually disagree.

Throughout the years my husband and I have perfected the art of marriage (at least we think so).  In fact, it is our differences that create the strength of our relationship.  My passion and spontaneity have come to compliment Phil’s order and reason.  Were it not for my husband, I would be a disorganized puddle of emotions.  If it weren’t for me, Phil would have no fun (at least that is what I tell him constantly).  **insert smirk here**

When I think of the body of Christ, I see the same thing, especially in styles of worship.  Some of us are external processors; we get caught up in the passion of worship and it is visible to the world.  We raise our hands, clap them, and may even run the aisles of the sanctuary (haven’t seen that one in a long time).  For others, the process is internal.  The spirit is moving inside without any appearance externally.  No amount of cheerleading from the platform is going to propel these people to run the aisles or waive their hands.  They are not worshipping less…they are just worshipping differently.  

Corporate worship is a valuable part of our spiritual lives.  We forget, however, that God does not dwell in our style of worship alone.  There are as many forms of worship as there are people in the Kingdom.  Each unique individual responds to God’s grace in his own personal way. That is the beauty of Christ’s Church.

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky!!!

Satan and his minion are sneaky!  Just when you begin to feel as though you have a direction...start something new...feel like you are making progress...those nasty voices start whispering.  I am sure you know them; their names are Depression, Discouragement and Despair.  They hang around me sometimes, but usually, since my schedule is so busy, I can successfully ignore them, and often, when I am on the top of my game spiritually, they are vanquished by my Protector.  But...the minute I let my guard down, they pop right back up again!  I think it is easy for them lately...since I have been confined I have spent a lot of my time doing nothing...and nothing always leads to something!

My 144 minutes today have been selfishly consumed in the inert confines of my pity party...(yes, even Mizmead has them sometimes).  I did manage to move my shoes to the upstairs closet..(not just the pairs that were lying around, but the ones that were stored in the closet under the stairs as well) and do a couple of loads of laundry...so I guess I am not a total slug!  (insert smirk here)

I have concluded that, rather than whine and complain that life is going on without me and that I have no purpose, I will stop the pity party right here and now!  I have had prayer with my husband and am going to bed.  (Mostly because there is no chocolate in the house, so why stay awake?)

Tomorrow I may change the name of my blog...who knows!

sleep sweet y'all!  

Prayer Warriors: Where are They?

For many years I have had the privilege of living among some of God’s prayer warriors.  These were not ordinary people who went about their business and prayed at the end of the day.  They were people who breathed prayer constantly.  When we lived at the Mission Center in Kentucky, there were several living all in one house…we called it “No Man’s Land.”  Five ladies lived there, and the Spirit of God was their sixth housemate.  God dwelled in that residence.

On Wednesday and Sunday nights our small church met in that house for years; the doors always welcome to all who would come to worship with us.  Prayer was a spectacular thing; like nothing I had experienced before.  Their prayers sustained us through some pretty hard times. But most of these ladies are in heaven how.

When I think of them, I wonder where the prayer warriors are in our generation?  I know many people my age who pray, but there is something missing I cannot identify.  These prayer warriors of my past had something special; something that took them to the foot of the Throne in an instant.  There was no need for repetitive worship music or motivational sermons; they were so accustomed to the pathway to the Throne they arrived there instantly.  Even in their failing years, when age stole so much of their mobility, their passion never faded.  

I want what they had.  I want to be so sure, so secure in my faith that I can sit at the foot of the Throne and, with all confidence, petition my Father for the needs of the world.  But for now, I start with 144 minutes.  I am learning the pathway; one step at a time.

Prayer Warriors - Part 1

I have a mental image still, after all these years, of my Grandma Sarah.  She would sit in her gold rocking chair, the octagon table (which was really a stereo in disguise) to her left, and a magazine rack to her right.  There were always crossword puzzle books, the church magazine, and her Bible close by...and M&Ms in the cabinet.  We could talk about anything, and when I finally accepted Christ as my Savior, the subject of prayer and time alone with God was a frequent topic of conversation.  Grandma was a prayer warrior.

I remember talking to her about the day I was born.  It won't surprise those who know me that my entrance into this world was not uneventful.  I came unexpectedly and dramatically and, I am told, rather blue.  Oxygen deprivation due to details that most readers wouldn't want to know about.  It was a scary time (as for me, I don't remember a thing, so it isn't all that traumatizing). For my parents and grandparents, however, there was great concern.

The doctors were unsure at the time whether I had suffered neurological damage; I was over eight pounds and in an incubator (Mom says I looked quite out of place; one foot propped up on the glass...).  Grandma tells me that the night I was born, she and grandpa were awake all night praying...for me.

I don't know how my life would have been different had they not been on their knees that cold night in December.  Nor do I know why God honored their prayers.  I am grateful just the same.

All my  life there have been prayer warriors petitioning in my behalf.  Grandma Sarah prayed for me daily...she told me so.  When she died she took those prayers to heaven with her.  Perhaps she intercedes now.

But the question arises when I think of her...and the many other prayer warriors I have known:  Who will take her place?  Where are the prayer warriors of our generation?

Perhaps tomorrow I can find the answer...but for tonight...sleep sweet!

# 2 - What does "Time for God" Mean?

I have been chewing on this question for several days now: What does it mean to Tithe 144 minutes to God each day?  What does it look like?  How is it done?  What “qualifies” as time spent for God?

In my search for the answer, I sent a quick note to a few godly people I know (don’t feel bad if you didn’t get a note, I used the condensed short-list).  After reading their responses and praying (and an hour long nap…remember the mono?) I think I have my answer:

There is no definitive answer!  

Is that a cop-out?  No, I don’t think so.  What I have determined is that the answer is different for each person.  Certainly prayer, Bible study and communion with God are essential parts of our daily walk with God.  But as far as taking time to serve Him each day, this can take so many forms that I could not possibly list them.  

I was reminded by these wise men and women that we do not “benefit” God by our actions, for he is God and we cannot improve His standing.  In fact, when we tithe, we are not “giving” God anything; He already owns all.  What we are doing through our tithe of time is returning a portion of the time we are given to strengthen our walk with him and draw others to Him.

This means that each of us, through our gifts and talents, must decide how we use our time, and what sacrifices we can make to return that portion to God.  For some it may mean stepping out of our comfort zone to enter a new area of worship.  It may mean stepping back and encouraging others to grow rather than taking the lead.  It might mean mentoring a child in need, or writing letters to lonely people.  Or, as in my case, it may mean (at this time at least) focusing completely on studying, praying and quietly listening for God’s voice (for those of you who know me, you can see where the “quietly listening” part is an effort).

Perhaps for many of us, the solution is not a physical change of our actions, but rather a mental and spiritual change in our attitudes.  Many years ago, my husband and I worked in a small mission center in Eastern Kentucky that housed a private school.  One year the plumbing in the kindergarten room failed, and we were forced to provide a portable toilet system for that portion of the school building.  (OK…think about this one for a moment….portable toilet…kindergarteners…mostly boys…get the picture?) 

The responsibility for emptying and cleaning this “solution” fell upon my husband.  At first he was disgusted and less than enthusiastic.  God, however, in his wisdom reminded my husband that everything we do, we do for Him.  While I cannot say that the grossness of the task was reduced, the attitude adjustment was complete.  What we do for the Lord should be done joyfully after all…even cleaning a toilet.

So, as I sit quietly and wait upon the Lord, what will you be doing?  Remember whatever you do in the name of Christ is done for Christ.
               

And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.

Matthew 25:40

The Ground Rules :#1 - Gross or Net?

Every good idea needs a plan of action.  After all, goals without plans are just dreams.  So, if I am going to tithe 144 minutes of my time for God, I need to develop some definitive parameters.  We will, dear reader, address those questions one at a time (since I tend to be wordy and you would quickly grow weary)

1.       How do I arrive at the 144 minute tithe?

This first question is really a question of semantics. What exactly is a tithe?  Do I tithe the waking hours I can actually do something, or include all those hours I am (supposedly) sleeping?  It is much like the question that arises when we discuss the financial tithe:  Gross or Net?  It has been our determination that tithing the Net is counterproductive.  After all, aren’t we supposed to give the “first portion” to God?  If we are giving only on the net of our income, then the government is taking the “first portion” and I certainly am not going to consider the government my God.  (Can I hear an “Amen”?)  

Tithing 10% of a full 24 hours serves the same purpose.  Sleep is for my benefit, so if I tithe my time after I sleep, I am getting the “first portion” and I am not (contrary to the belief of many former students) a god! (Insert another “Amen” here.)

144 minutes does seem like a pretty big chunk of the day, doesn’t it?  How much time do I really have? After all, I must include time for my personal hygiene (for the benefit of all), nutrition (man cannot live on Poptarts alone…it am pretty sure that is in Leviticus) and upkeep of the home (Proverbs 31 woman and all).  But what about those time-suckers…those things that are not essential to the running of my life…Facebook, scrabble blast, writing blogs that no one reads, Farkle…what I am willing to eliminate to give God what He is due?  

While you are reading this, I will be trimming out the deadwood; when I am done, I am quite certain there will more than 144 minutes to spare!

Blessings!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 

Knowing You Have a Problem.......

THE PROBLEM:

Time has long been the victim of cliché upon cliché:  

“Time is precious”           

“Time heals all wounds”

“Time is the essence”

“Time flies when you are having fun”

It seems that as “time flies,” we find ourselves, “time and time again,” trying to find that “stitch in time” “at the eleventh hour” to finish our tasks “in the nick of time.”   We are “living on borrowed time,” reminding ourselves that “Rome wasn’t built in a day” so we need to “take time to smell the roses.”

You get the idea.  

The fact is that as a society we are obsessed with time.  Our cell phones, computers, IPods and GPS units all keep track of it for us.  Society is running at such a fast pace that the immediate has taken precedent over the important.  I know that for me personally, the reality of time runs about 30 seconds ahead of my daily schedule.  I am always trying to catch up.  At 48, I have found myself in college full time, caring for elderly in-laws, dealing with doctors’ appointments, hospital stays, trying to be a wife, a mother, grandmother,  spend time with my terminally ill sister…this list grows longer every day.  Time alone with God has been a struggle, and it continues to be.

DIVINE INTERVENTION?

Enter the equalizer of all things:  Mononucleosis! 

After months of taxing myself physically, I have finally fallen to the reality that I am not Wonder Woman.  (This is probably best, because spandex is just not a good idea for someone of my frame!)  

 Early in January time was brought abruptly to a halt with the reality of a rather severe case of mono.   I found myself confined to quarters regardless of the needs of others around me.  I was once again reminded that "you can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself."  (It should be pointed out at this time that I have told countless people this, it just wasn’t supposed to apply to me)  Perhaps that Someone who orders the universe decided to bring me to a halt…just long enough to realize that this time is not “my” time, but "His" time.  

And so…at this time, while forced against my will into a slower pace, I have decided to devote my time to building a habit of time management that can carry back into my busy schedule when I re-enter the mainstream of humanity.  After all “there is a time for every purpose under Heaven.” 

This time is my time to  use the time God has given me to make the time to tithe my time back to him…(if you understood that line, you are amazing).